Tuesday, December 4

Reading Week Studies; Subject 1: Flirtology

love, despite what they say, is not just a game. love for me is this intimidating and divine interaction that i dare not toy with. in the presence of love i become rigid, unnatural, behaving as if any flirtation defiles my character and diminishes my appeal. in other words, if i genuinely like you, i can be very awkward and boring.

flirting, on the other hand, is fantastically fun. it allows me to analyze the minute details of our typical male-female interaction without letting my thoughts be possessed by you involuntarily. it doens't matter who you are and what you do on the weekends. i could care less if your friends are immature. i don't need you to call me but it would be fun if you did. i can like you without knowing you and know you without liking you. despite all the apathy every little thing amuses me. they turn my days into episodes of a milder (and happier) version of kdramas. the coincidental meetings (ha! good thing i wore perfume and brushed my hair today). the shared meals (will you sit by me again even if it means in a foreign area in the dining hall?... i shall refrain from inviting you and seeming too eager for your company). the compliments (did you just call me charming?!). the awkward greetings as you walk out of the bathroom (half-naked!). the wall-to-wall (it's only been 2 hrs since i posted on yours). the (3!) times we held hands during church prayer (oops. did my thumb accidentally stroke your hand?). the random invitations (i will say yes but only because i said no last time). the unexpected bit of extra effort and attention here and there. what does this all mean? what does it matter?! it's all harmless fun... yes, it is as long as i give you license to flirt and vice versa. if i could potentially more-than-fancy you, any insincere flirtation is cruel and illegal. and i would be a bitch to lead you on if you have feelings and i don't reciprocate them. but right now, i think we're safe.