ohana

i'm usually not the one to complain about family. i mean, come on, i cried during lilo & stitch when stitch was imitating the ugly duckling and crying "i'm lost" in hope that his family would find him. for the most part my family is great.

but i have to say family is an interesting entity of people. every family has its own dynamic and it changes when people grow up and grow older. to have people growing old and growing into adulthood living together, there's gotta be a lot of misunderstandings until some mutual understanding occurs. does it ever occur?

now that i've been set free to find my independence, it's weird to come home again to a mom who still expects the same things. except now i am also expected to be mature and responsible. the weirdest thing, though, is how i feel old enough to understand my parents. i feel like i've entered into their adult-world and it makes me see my parents as my equals rather than my authorities. but i wonder how much my parents understand me? i often disagree with their perception of me, either because they're false, i'm naive and in denial. or maybe i just still have the teenage mentality that i am so complex that no one understands me. i do believe that family brings out the worst of you and i'm ashamed at some of the ugliness i see.

i guess what i've realized is that family isn't all fun and games when you're more grown up and your parents stop trying to pamper and protect you. i know my parents have stopped sugar-coating things, or when they try they fail, and whatever real life problems they have i am now burdened with them too. i get annoyed because i am self-righteous and complain about having stress from school and not needing more stress in my life. but looking back it just sounds like i am not ready to face reality and would prefer to be babied. i do still feel like such a baby sometimes when i get snappy and whiny. but sometimes i am just honestly annoyed and not understanding my parents' reasoning.

maybe my parents and i will never completely understand each other, especially with the cultural difference. i mean even my mom can't always understand my grandma. it just goes to show how much grace and forgiveness play a role in sustaining a family. it's a true test of patience and tolerance.