belief

my brother just turned 8 but he asks some important questions about life. he's at the age where he's trying to figure out exactly what he believes in, santa claus, tooth fairy, god. he decided that the easter bunny does not exist but santa is real (probably after watching polar express). he's not sure about god because he can't see him but he learns about jesus and god from a church daycare. when i explained to him that the christ part of christmas stands for jesus christ because it's jesus's birthday, he was really amazed. then he went on to say that jesus must be so old that even mom was inside grandma's belly. when you think about it, it is pretty amazing that christianity has been around for so long... i can only imagine all the generations of firm believers who have stood by christianity.

"Then Jesus told him, 'Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.'"
- John 20:29

when mark asks me questions about god or jesus i just kinda shrug them off. or i give him a generic sunday school answer. i don't know what one should tell an 8-year-old. when you're older, belief isn't black and white anymore. there're so many other factors that it gets convoluted fast. i think that's why i've stopped pursuing those questions. ultimately i want to find out the same thing as mark, to believe or not to believe; i think we humans are born with a desire to know a divine creator even if it doesn't necessarily change our lives at the moment. but often the questions can't be answered (which doesn't mean the answer's automatically no), but the fact that they exist casts a little skepticism in our hearts. the thing with christianity is, you can't really be a lukewarm believer. the beliefs are so radical and life-transforming that you have to make that decision, once and for all and everyday for the rest of your life.

"I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."
- Luke 18:17

2 movies i watched recently were finding neverland and polar express. if you've seen both you know the morals are one the same: belief is important because it keeps hope alive while disbelief is darn right depressing, and adults miss out on the fun and magic because they've become so cynical. so really it was a lot like a lesson for the parents taking their kids to the theaters than for kids themselves - a message to tell us to be more like kids. except we don't buy into the message because we stopped believing in movies a while ago. i remember having an existential crisis when i first read mary poppins and watched the movie. i was young enough to wish that she existed and the magic was real but just old enough to know that i was watching a movie. it was the saddest thing... darn you Walt - way to instill false hope.

but i think at the end of the day we all believe in something, but if it's not santa or god, what is it? evolution? money? luck? love? ouija boards? and since we live our lives based on beliefs, it's probably a good idea to keep asking those hard questions and figure things out. because even if we're scrooges, there aren't ghosts to warn us that we're wasting our lives pursuing worthless beliefs. (or at least i don't believe in the ghosts of christmas)